. that's what friends are for-

Saturday, August 12, 2006

RE: blahblahblah

OUR EMAIL TITLED blahblahblah

Dear Miss Cheng Su Bing and Miss Gui Geiyi (representative lawyer of Miss Cheng),

As stated by my client in her previous letter, it is indeed true she has contacted my law firm and we are now acting on her behalf. As such, all liasion with my client whatsoever shall hereby be done through me from now onwards. You are not to haress or have direct contact with my client or else, severe action shall be taken against you. The same applies for your client Miss Cheng Su Bing as well. Granted that both of you are in close proximity of each other on a daily basis, I fear for my client's safety. As such, I am currently in the process of applying for a Personal Protection Order for my client, for her utmost well-being. When its approved, which should be ready in the next couple of days, I shall present it to you. Meanwhile, I would advise my client to stay clear of you. Regarding your ridiculously exorbident commission fee, there is no way my client would aceed to it. As testified by her, she had not agreed to your ridiculous fee to begin with and i suggest you give up the ridiculous idea of charging her for it. Unless you can find a witness who can testify that she agreed, i suggest you drop this case. For your information, should you lose this case, I will be sending you my bill and I wont come cheap. Given my qualifications, it costs $600 an hour to hire me. As of now, your bill for my services currently stands at $600 plus 5% GST. I hope to hear from you or your lawyer soon.

Regards,

Miss Melissa Woo

p.s the above applies to Miss Teo as well, i have just recieved official confirmation from her to act on her behalf. As such, please redirect all correspondence addressed to Miss Teo to me. Thank you for your kind attention.

this is how lame. HAHA=) but i like. i cant wait for 3108!

Dear Miss Gui

May i respectfully point out that you have misspelled "received" in your letter. I have been extremely busy working on a written report for my organisation and I sincerely hope that you would have the patience to wait for my reply regarding the lawsuit. To keep you updated, I'm actually contacting with another lawyer, Miss Woo Phui Han. You may know her as Smelly Melly. Miss Teo and I are confident of winning this case.

Regards

Chiew Yong the pro.

Dear Ms Teo and Ms Ng

I have receieved a complain from Ms Cheng Su Bing of the Artists Independence, Youth Association (AIYA) that both Ms Teo and Ms Ng who comissioned the artwork have not paid her the promised s$500. This is a letter of warning and please be informed that if the payment is not made by the end of August, measures would be taken.

Yours faithfully

Gui Geyi
Representive Lawyer of Cheng Su Bing

To SB: The collage is great! :))))))) But somehow, I look botak next to tzeyuen. :((((((((((

the collage is so pretty:) haha thankew subing:)))) anyways i have the best solution to your payments. you should put the money in a huge envelope and mail it to me. i will help subing safekeep the money. then there is no risk at all. the money won't fly away or get flushed away. good idea right. i' m waiting for your mail. it'll be best if you fedex it over. it's much faster and safter as well. love joanne

HAHAHA. WHY BLAH BLAH BLAH. I THOUGHT ITS SOME FORWARDED EMAIL AND I DELETED IT. ANW. THE PHOTOS IS NICE! THKS :) AND THIS IS FUNNY. HAHAHAHA. DEAR MS NG AND MS TEO, I WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST THAT YOU PUT THE MONEY INTO THE TOILET BOWL. THAT WAY IT WONT FLY AWAY. BUT THERES THE RISK OF FLUSHING IT AWAY. THEN THE TOILET BOWL MAY CHOKE. YOURS TRULY, LYDIA

Dear Ms Cheng and Ms Ng

I presume there must be a mistake because I have also not agreed on paying Ms Cheng's commission fee for making the collage. I would also like to highlight to Ms Cheng's attention that a commission fee of $500 is far too exorbitant for us, your fellow cliquemates, especially taking into consideration our humble backgrounds. However, I am willing to bear a part of the cost and would be most glad to fork out a lump sum of 5cents, which is 0.01% of your commission fee. Regarding the method of transaction, I would like to suggest a more effective way -- dropping the 5-cent coin on the floor if I spot you nearby. This is to prevent the confusion of placing the money beside a school dustbin as you have not specified exactly which dustbin, and it would be highly disastrous should a strong gust of wind come and blow away the bag containing such a huge sum of money. Hence, do listen out for the earth-shattering sound of a 5-cent coin landing on the floor in the following days to come. I would also like to suggest a much better solution to this whole commission fee saga. That is, to make the collage without imposing any fees on us, your fellow cliquemates. This is due to us being unable and unwilling to pay for your service at such a steep price, and I strongly think that a price ceiling of 10cents should be set. (My sincere apologies to anyone not taking Economics.) For Ms Ng, I would like to suggest that you purchase a pair of hearing aids. I hope that they would be of great help to you in future transactions like this so that such misunderstanding can be avoided.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Yours seriously

Sheryl Teo

PS. wah what a good way to destress! HAHAHA. xD

Dear Ms Cheng

I'm afraid to let you know that I have not agreed to pay for that collage you made. However, i did overhear Ms Sheryl Teo agree to the $500 fee wholeheartedly. I would also like to point out that there are numerous dustbins in the school and your description for where Ms Sheryl Teo should place the money is very vague. I urge you to provide more details for her convenience. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Thank you.

With love
Chiewyong the PRO

ps. I HATE chem

LOL! SB! HAHHAA!! juz wana say I LIKE IT! :D Hope everyone's doin fine..
-tzeyuen

hello everybody(: At chiewyong and sheryl teo's request, i have done a photo collage of our clique! haha take a look k. tell me if there's anything(or everything) you're not happy about and i will see if there is any way in which i can assist you. haha i can remove pimples if you want. Anyway happy looking! and happy national day(:

yours sincerely( no comma!)

(my signature)

cheng subing

ps. to ng chiewyong and sherylteo, regarding my commision fee, a bill of S$500 will shortly be sent to you. Kindly make all necessary arrangements and leave the money in a bag next to the school dustbin. Do not inform the police. Thank you.

zeropointfive [10:14 PM]

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